Deployment Blessings

Having a deployed husband is tough stuff. We met very young. I was 13 and he was 16. By the time I was 14 and he was 17, we had become very good friends. I remember when he told me that he had enlisted in the Utah Air National Guard and I had a horrible sinking feeling that this was going to affect me. Looking back I see that was a strong premonition that he would one day be my husband and I would have the life of a military wife, which wasn't appealing to me at all. That was something I spent the next 15 years dreading, from age 14 to age 29 when he finally got deployed for the first time. That was 2010. He left three weeks after my dad passed away and we had four children, ages 18 months to 9 years. It was the first time facing two of my greatest fears...losing a parent and being without my husband simultaneously. People ask me if this current deployment is harder or easier than the first one. Well, both. Luckily I don't have to experience the loss of my dad again, but this time we have 5 children and there are a lot more responsibilities on my shoulders. And it's a longer deployment. But I'd have to say overall, this one is easier. But both deployments were and are blessings to our family. The blessings have been many, but one I would like to focus on is gratitude for the service that has been given to me.

I would like to list as many things as quickly as I can that people have done for us.

The young men in my ward (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) took it upon themselves to keep up on my yard this summer.

My mom gave my children two turns each to go out with her, one on one, to eat dinner and pick out a gift. They needed that extra love and attention so much and looked forward to it so much.

My sister took my kids in various numbers and combinations throughout the summer...even all five of them at one time for a weekend. (I didn't have trouble wondering what to do with my time...I shopped, baked and ate cupcakes, and watched movies. I still revel in the memory of the house to myself.)

My friends have sent me texts and have given me frequent encouragement, and have taken me out to dinner.

My visiting teachers have helped me so much by taking turns giving my sweet little 5 year old boy a place to go once a week throughout the summer where he could feel calm and happy and showered with attention.

I have taken a few people up on various offers for help here and there, and found that their offers were genuine. One of these was a neighbor I asked to install a light for me and he did it happily and made quick work of it.

My kids...they have stepped up in ways that amaze me. It is a constant struggle for balance not to let them do too much and overwhelm them. They have seen how much they are needed. I don't give them jobs to fill their time and teach them how to work. I give them jobs because, if they don't do it, it just won't get done. They have babysat so much and have been so wonderful. Not that home life is perfect, but we have had many growing opportunities together because of our need to depend on each other.

My home teacher helped my son make an emergency chicken run (didn't know the baby chicks couldn't go in with the full grown chickens...ya I don't do research very often.)

A dear friend of mine is giving me a homemade hand towel that looks like a little baby dress for my kitchen..one a month for every month my husband is gone. Like a child, I have started opening the door on the first day of each month looking for my gift. She and my sister in law shared the caring of my baby for a weekend so I could take my other four camping.

My brother and sister spent a weekend helping me with my kids on said camping trip. We had fun, didn't we, guys? All things considered.

My mother-in-law stayed with my kids so I could attend my neighborhood's annual book club retreat.

My father-in-law accompanied my 11 year old son on a scout camp in which the attendance of a father was required.

A friend brought me a delicious meal.

My sister in law planned some activities for a cousin day, took me out to dinner another time, and another sister-in-law took my son out for the day with her own kids to give him a much needed break from his siblings.

My husband is my greatest support. He always sends me an email to wake up to, giving me encouragement to face the new day. He never gives up on me even when I tell him honestly of the darkest of days that inevitably creep in. Sometimes when I feel like I'm failing and that I'm hopeless to conquer anything, I think of his unconditional love and his kindness and understanding, that he's always on my side, and I think, "God has to be at least this good, and feel at least the way towards me as my husband does, because He is perfect."

I am humbled by the goodness of those around me. I know there are many, many people going through things I could never dream of, yet the service I have received to lift my burdens helps me feel that my trial, though seemingly small in comparison to many others, has value and merit. I want to also thank everyone for being patient with my limitations. It is hard to be the recipient of so much love and help from others and then, in turn, be compelled to say no sometimes, when an opportunity to do something above and beyond the care of my children and home would take more from my physical and mental reserves than I have to give. Understanding from others on this point is an act of love in and of itself. But even with my limitations of time and energy, I am finding that there is always time to be thankful, to choose love and understanding over judgment, and to ask and really listen to others' hearts and struggles, and to always believe in others' ability, including my own, to learn and improve a little each day.