Pass it On

Last night my husband and I stole away for an hour-long, just-down-the-road mini date. That's what we usually resort to now. Our kids are at that tricky stage where they're old enough to babysit their younger siblings, but only under ideal conditions, yet too old to be babysat themselves. So last night the ideal conditions lined up. Luckily my three year old was very helpful in that regards. He was throwing up all day (the fact that the day before was Halloween is NOT a coincidence), and therefore was very happy to go to bed at 6:30. He even asked to go to bed, which never happens. This rare phenomenon is what prompted us to consider going out in the first place. He is the biggest trouble maker and the most difficult for my 11 year old to handle. Step one in creating ideal conditions: get three year old to bed. Check.

Step two is actually want to go on a date. This step can be difficult to accomplish when both of us are irritable and tired from an infant waking up all night. So step two was shot. But you already know we went out on a date, so basically we skipped step two. Because if the three year old is asleep, we'd be stupid not to go.

Step three is make the kids repeat these words: "we will not fight or get into trouble while you're gone." Then believe them and make a run for it. Step three is easy if you're willing to be in denial and deal with the consequences when you get back.

With everything seemingly in place, we loaded up the baby and took off. We went to a quiet Thai place, talked here and there, tried to feel excitement that we were out alone together with a baby. Pretty soon the phone started ringing and our kids informed us that Corbin woke up and he was not happy. We called the waitress over and asked for a box and our check. She smiled and said, "you're free to go any time. Your meal has been paid for." We dropped our jaws and asked her who it was. She said, of course, they wished to remain anonyous. But that's still the first question that comes out, right? She handed us a note from our benefactors: "This is a random act of kindness. Pass it on. God bless and have a great evening."

I was touched and surprised by this act of kindness. Many thoughts crossed my mind. My first thought was how easy it is to ignore each other and think only about our own lives. It takes an intentional and purposeful effort to look around and realize we share the world with a lot of people who have lives and struggles and worries too. Naturally I was reminded to notice other people better and actually pass it on as the note said. The second thought I had was that anonymity has a unique effect. It breaks down any subconscious biases that may exist against each other. It helps us see past a person's exterior and wonder, "was this the person that was so kind? Was that the person?" Anonymity grants the credit for the good deed to EVERYONE.

The free meal made our night. My husband and I were both touched by it. We felt important and that we mattered to someone. When someone goes out of his or her way to be so kind, you want to be kind back, to your spouse, your kids, yourself, a stranger. It was just what we needed that night to get over a slump. I even was very calm when we came home to spilled red gatorade all over the carpet.

We will pass it on and I'll write a post about it when I do!